Hard Knocks

A friend told me that a child in one of our city middle schools committed suicide recently. That to me is one of the most heart wrenching situations. It brings to mind that someone lost their daughter, sister, granddaughter, classmate and teammate just to name a few. All they have left now are memories and her cold and lifeless body. I find it especially sorrowful now that we’re in the midst of the Christmas season.


Most people probably think nothing of it. A person killing themselves I mean. I suppose maybe because they think it’s such a far fetched scenario that it could never touch the life of anybody close to them. I’m quite the opposite. The details of a person having taken their own, life always beckons my attention. Not that I have an obsession or anything. I’m just sensitive to it is all.

Allow me to explain why. My childhood consisted of a lot of moving. From the time I was in the third grade up until seventh grade we moved at least a couple of times a year. I literally felt like I would never know where my address was for certain, until I got off the bus and found our things were still in place. Because there were times when after I got off the bus we got in the car and drove to our newest home. With no opportunity to even say goodbye to anyone. I can tell you that it was tough for me to have friends.

Not only was I always the new kid, I was the new country kid who came from upstate Mt. Airy! After a while with my mom and new step dad always at work, a shot house or wherever, I became the one in charge of my younger sister and brother. I was always getting cussed and out and beat up for something I forgot to do. We were living in these apartments on Silas Creek Parkway one year and it was Christmas time. I had brought home a little black puppy that I found on my way home from school. I believe it was a Lab. One night we came back home to find that the puppy had torn bulbs off the tree and pooped on the floor. My mom and step dad raised hell and yanked my little friend up and took him away. I remember being so tired of living such a miserable life and not knowing what to do about it that I wanted to die, so I tried to kill myself. I swallowed a whole lot of various types of pills that I found in the medicine cabinet and I climbed into bed. Just like that.

Had I been successful in taking my own life, it would not have been because of a typical bully. They were very temporary in my life because I whooped my bully’s asses. I never had problems with my sexuality either. My problem was that I was living with a mother who was in a domestically violent relationship that involved substance abuse. She had pressures and she applied pressure to me that I didn’t believe at the time I could handle. So in essence, my mother was my bully and I felt defenseless against her for many years.

I can remember that as a child I was quite creative. Never was much of a dancer, but I loved dancing and singing just the same. I felt like I could express myself that way and at best it helped with my stress. I did think I was a pretty good drawer though. I often wonder where I might be in my life today had I had someone to encourage me in the areas that I showed any potential. That’s what I do for my children. Teach them that they are not chickens, but eagles. Be who you want to be and determine where you want to be in your adult life.

At twelve years old had I been able to take my own life, I would have missed out on so many wonderful experiences. If you have children, talk to them, hug them and tell them how proud you are of them and most importantly, tell them that you love them. Do it all the time. I kiss mine each night before bed and each morning before they get on the school bus. I’m not perfect but my kids know I love them very much.

Now at forty-four I’m trying to find comfort in saying out loud that I am smart and creative and intelligent. Those are the things that a person should grow up on, not grow into in their adult years. By then it feels sort of weird and out of place. But I’ll get there. Because I love my life and I love that I can help others by sharing my life. I don’t care who knows where I’ve been, because I know where I’m going now. And I thank God all the time for not taking me when I so wanted to leave this world. The things that didn’t kill me only made me stronger. There has always been something very special about me and I’m glad I had a chance to discover who I am.

We all need somebody to talk to. I hope you have someone, especially when it counts.

Merry Christmas,
Rozita

The Winston-Salem Chronicle Newspaper

     Alright! The Chronicle came bearing wonderful news this morning and I was more than happy to receive it!

     Ms. Layla Farmer covered our World AIDS Day "Hoops for Awareness" event earlier this month. Yes, the same event that I've been posting about. You'll just have to excuse me and all of my excitement, but we have worked very hard to get our organization to where it is. Keeping in mind that we still have a very long way to go. HIV & AIDS will out live me but if I can put a dent in its backside, then I'll die happy!

     At any rate, the article came out in today's edition of The Chronicle and we are truly tickled pink about it. (Ticked pink being a figure of speech, of course. The last time I resembled pinkness was at birth.) But anyway, Ms. Layla did a wonderful job, especially given such short notice AND it snowed throughout the entire event AND it was a Saturday afternoon. Fabulous!

     Just a couple of our major supporters did not get a plug due to time restraints, but Domino's Pizza and Pepsi Ventures supplied all the food and drinks. (Well, except for the cakes. We bought those from Costco.) Miss Latina --Lizbeth Villa from WSSU was in the house representing! POSSE from the Forsyth County Health Department were on site to offer confidential testing. Many of our other contributors are listed on the Sponsor page of the organizations website. http://www.thepowerofteens.org/  If we've left anyone off the list, PLEASE except our apologies and inbox me the information.

     To read the article you can pull it up at http://www.wschronicle.com/

     We have plans for more fun and educational events in 2011, so please check back often. If you think you would like to volunteer with us, then let us know because we could certainly use your help. It is afterall designed with the community in mind and so we would love to work WITH the community as much as possible to make every event a huge success!

Who Won the Game?

Get a load of this!!

This is the trophy that the Winston-Salem Police & Fire departments competed for at our World AIDS Day "Hoops for Awareness" event yesterday!!! It was a lot of work, but also a lot of fun!

Oh, yeah..the Police Department won the game! But it's clear that there will be a rematch for World AIDS Day 2011.

As you can see, it wasn't a blowout game and it was jam packed with excitement till the very end!

I hope that you were able to commemorate World AIDS Day in your community too.

Peace & Blessings!

Hoops for Awareness!!!!

     In just a few more days World AIDS Day 2010 will be celebrated in Winston-Salem, NC by The Power of TEENS, Inc!!
    
At Hoops for Awareness, our local fire and police departments will compete in  friendly game of basketball. There will be free food/drinks, door prizes, a DJ and an MC, Praise dancers, a drum line! I can hardly wait!

     This was all organized in less than 30 days. It has been a lot of work, but definitely worth it. This is a dream come true for me because I have wanted to bring something useful back to my community and what better way than sharing information with them about HIV&AIDS. So please stay tuned for pictures and an update on how much fun the event was.:-)

     It's strange that a part of me wants to post something really encouraging today. I suppose the most exciting events for me today were in my two classes. I was very pleased to see that my classmates had included my advocacy work in a presentation that they did! People are listening...

     And then a couple of hours later I had to do a persuasive speech. In that speech I worked to persuade my class to sign a petition to erect an organization on campus that keeps HIV&AIDS prevention on the forefront both on campus and throughout the surrounding community by using events like Hoops for Awareness.

     So I did commemorate World AIDS Day today with about 30 other people who I have helped to understand how serious the epidemic has become in our community and around the world.

Peace & Blessings!

Did You Get The Memo?

According to the Red Cross, budget cuts have caused a lot of "key people" in our community organizations to be lost. The nearest Red Cross office that offers HIV&AIDS certification classes is located in High Point!

A question that I've been asking for a while now is: What is it going to take for that mental light to come on and for people to realize that it is up to us to handle this problem? I have no idea. But I do believe that it's rooted in our behavior. So it's like we have to change the order in which we're doing things. Sexual things that is. Because if we keep doing things the way we always have, then we're going to keep getting the same results we always have. Please take notice that HIV&AIDS have got pretty good momentum right now.

Have you ever wondered why the weight of HIV&AIDS has shifted from the gay male segment to the African-American woman??? The gay community does not hesitate to tell us that they have not changed their behavior. So is it the passive nature of our women that is to blame yet again? The sharing of men is a deadly game. Particularly when they return home to us from the penitentiary not knowing their own status.

I'm not taking a position of judging anybody, only trying to keep it real. Sex groups are deadly too. When one member is infected then the remaining partners eventually become infected as well.

So you see, we have to help ourselves if we are to overcome this issue. Since when does the death of our people make a difference to anyone but us? We are expendable: Not worth salvaging. That's why I have so much to say and then have my own people look at me sideways as they wonder why I give a damn if I'm not positive. We're living in some crazy times that much is certain.

But I'm going to do me and I'm going to do my best to be true to my responsibilities. Because in the case of HIV&AIDS, I do not believe that help is on the way. I believe that we are on the way out if we don't get ourselves together. That's the memo that I got!

Never forgetting "Tuskegee Study of Untreated Syphilis in the Negro Male.", the devastaion of Haiti or Katrina.....

Stay Tuned Yall..Poetry's Next

     I went to an open mic event lastnight and it was such a beautiful experience! I believe it's safe to say that I've been inspired to put my words on paper in a way that I have never done before. And I wrote poetry today for the very first time!

     Getting started was not so easy for me, but once I got started I found it fun and relaxing and in a sence freeing. Here is just a sample and I hope you enjoy it:

My Sista’s Keeper

If you care about me then you’ll show me

said the boy who wanted to be a man.

Listening to this bullshit she says

yes, I’ll do anything, the girl had no plan.


She’s searching for love in all the wrong places

and because she is so trusting...

Never understanding why all she gets is

a bunch of lies and sexual thrusting.


It is for this reason I vow to be my sista’s keeper

she and I have, well, an understanding

That our faithfulness to each other

can prevent her from making a crash landing.


I am my sista’s keeper

no more STD’s or unintended pregnancy problems

I am her bestfriend

I am her female condoms!

Female Condoms Rock Yall!!

Let me begin by saying that attitude plays a major role in the acceptance of something new and person has to be open to change. I say this because I have never been a fan of condoms. They seem alien to me and I can understand why men balk at the idea of putting one on. Afterall, I hate having mammagrams done because it's just so uncomfortable! Who wants their body parts all squooshed and compressed?! But I have to say that when the choices are between a male condom and a disease, the condom will have its way, no doubt.

So lately I've been sharing with people on my Facebook page information and the idea of using the Female Condom. The only problem I had with my message was that I had never tried it for myself. I believe in teaching from experience so that I can hold a conversation with my audience about the issue at hand. For example, several months back when I started up this blog I went and got tested for HIV although I've been tested before in other states, so that if any questions came up then I could tell about my personal experience with the testing procedures in my current city.

Now that I've tried out a female condom for myself, I think it's importnant to share my experience. I was hoping to find a format or some type of survey that I could just customize. As luck would have it I cannot find any such template so bare with me as I navigate my way through the details of my experience.

For those who have seen my YouTube presenatation:Female Condoms Rock! I followed the same proceedure for setting the condom up for use. After washing my hands I checked the expiration date and kneeded the package for a few seconds to distribute the lubricant. I then tore the package open at the preforated top right corner and removed the condom from its package.

I must tell you that because I have never used anything like a diaphram before I was just a little concerned about inserting the inner ring of the condom. But I got it in place on the very first try and I didn't have any problems with the condom twisting either. It was actually a piece of cake so-to-speak.

Although I demonstrated in my presentation that the larger outter ring will be visible on the outside of the va-gee-gee, seeing is believing. Keeping in mind that everybodys built differently (speaking about the depths of our cavities) when I stood up after inserting my condom I couldn't help but wonder what in the world I would do for 8 hours with 2 inches of the condom sort of dangling down there. I'm just keeping it real with you! Because remember that you can insert the female condom and leave it in place for up to 8 hours before you use it AND the extra material helps to protect more surface area.

Surveys have reported that the outter ring stimulates the clitorous during intercourse. As a result of my experiment, I can now happily tell you that there is truth in that. There were no issues with any pinching of skin or pulling of hair as with male condoms. And although I did notice some noise initially, after applying more lubrication it went away.

Removal of the female condom went just as well as the insertion of it. My report is that it was equally pleasing for both partners. Remember that its material permits it to warm up to the temperature of our va-gee-gees quickly. And overall it felt very natural.

So in conclusion, I am definately won over by the female condom. It is well worth the extra cost and you might be able to get them from the health department for free.

As always, I hope this is helpful.

Peace & Blessings
cocoEskimo

Sistas Be Encouraged

How do we persuade our partners that we should use a condom?




It can be difficult at best to talk about using condoms. But you shouldn't let embarrassment become a health risk. The person you are thinking about having sex with may not agree at first when you say that you want to use a condom when you have sex. These are some excuses and some answers that you could try...



EXCUSES & ANSWERS

Don't you trust me?.. Trust isn't the point, people can have infections without realizing it.

Sex doesn’t feel as good with a condom.. I'll feel more relaxed knowing that we’re both protected.

I am afraid to ask him to use a condom. He'll think I don't trust him…If you can't ask him, you don't trust him anyway.

I don't have a condom with me… I do!

It's up to him... it's his decision… No, it's your health too so it should be your decision too!

I'm on the pill, you don't need a condom… I'd like to use it anyway… It will help to protect us both from infections we may not realize we have.

Putting it on interrupts everything… Not if we make it a part of our foreplay!

I guess you don't really love me… I do, but I am not risking my life to prove it to you!

I will pull out in time… Women can get pregnant and get STIs from pre-ejaculate.

But I love you… Then you won't mind helping us to protect ourselves.

Just this once… Once is all it takes!




Female Condoms Rock!!!!!




Now imagine how the script is flipped when women are in control of whether or not we use a female condom. The possibilities are endless! No more begging and hoping he’ll agree to wrap it up. How much stress is involved when it comes down to our being in control of our bodies and reducing our risk of unintended pregnancies and STI’s. Especially since we can insert our condom up to eight hours before we even have sex. Wow!

Today Was A Good Day!

   I've been looking for a tag for the front of my car lately. Not just any old tag either but something jazzy and definately something that reflects my work with HIV&AIDS prevention. Not something that I could find in the mall you know. So this morning I found one!!! Well, actually I had one personalized at my local "Second Hand Smoke is For You" stop: the flea market.  I had the artist put cocoEskimo and a red ribbon on it and I think it looks really hot!

     After that task was handled I had an even bigger task to handle and that was a 5 minute recorded speech that's due  on Tuesday morning! I had intended to complete it before the weekend, I truely did. But here it was Saturday morning and I had nothing but the outline written up. I mean I knew that I wanted to talk about what female condoms are and how to use them but that was about it.

     After I got finished shopping around town for a box of female condoms, with zero results because I was unable to find a store that carries them. Grrr! This was so frustrating for me because on the store shelves there were a million-gazillion male condoms in every store, but not one female condom!! I went back home to begin working on my speech. Thankfully I had a couple of female condoms that were given to me at the health department, so I used these to illustrate their use.

     I'm still not used to having to speak with applied discipline. At least that's what I call it when I've got to preview and review and do this and that during these speeches. So it took me a few attempts to get a recording that I can live with. It didn't help at all knowing that if I left out a single component that I could get a zero for my grade! No pressure at all right? riiight.;)

     In the midst of it all I try to remind myself that this is a process and once I'm finished with it, in the end I'll be a better woman and a better speaker. So let's rock! haha! I'm going to try and upload the finished product here on my blog so if you don't see it then I wasn't able to get it here. (Pull it up on youtube.com under cocoeskimo because I'm not able to upload it here unfortunately, but 1 out of 2 aint so bad!)

     In the meantime, take care of you and win, lose or draw I'm going to take care of me too!

Peace & Blessings,

cocoEskimo

If Not Now...When?

     This is a question that I've begun to ask myself lately more and more. I'm wondering when will it happen that the folks in my community will begin to band together and take action against those issues that are most detrimental to our families and our culture. We need to have some real talk about these real issues.
     I've recently begun some studying on women's issues. My initial plan was to major in Communications and pick up a minor in Marketing, but right now I really don't know for sure where I'll end up. Partly because I'm finding that a lot of the societal issues that women are facing today, we faced hundreds of years ago as well. Some issues are just more in our faces than others.

     For example, women put up with a lot and we sometimes take a lot crap off of our men too simply because we love them so much. The result is that we forgive them sometimes too easily. The terms "wifey" and "baby daddy" have managed to somehow make the state of no commitment alright. And then the media and hollywood move in to brainwash us and glamorize the rest of the world into believing that we have no worth. Afterall, our men are all thugs and as for African-American women we're just a bunch of hoes and booty shaking bitches, right?

     Making it real easy for someone to say pack your bag and leave him girlfriend! But when a woman has got children to care for and that man is the sole provider...she's got a whole lot of soul searching going on. She is somehow able to justify in her mind that for the sake of her children, things aren't so bad or that things will get at least better. The death trap lies not in her infinite denial that her man is cheating, but rather in her refusal to protect herself from being exposured to his multiple partners and sexually transmitted diseases.

     I read somewhere that when you believe wrong, you think wrong and when you think wrong you act wrong. As a result people believe that HIV & AIDS cannot happen to them, so they think safer sex is not needed in their bedrooms or where ever they are hooking up. Therefor they don't make good choices such as consistant use of condoms or making abstainence a part of their everyday lives.

     I surveyed some of my classmates (approximately 18 students) and a large number of them said that it would take believing that they had been exposed to the virus to motivate them to get tested! If that doesn't tell us that something is terribly wrong with how STD's are thought of. How do you protect yourself from HIV after you already have it? Well?

    #1 sex is overrated and #2 we seriously need to get a handle on our thoughts and sexual behaviors. If not now...when?

What Are You Thinking???

I was just thinking as I often do, about the fact that based on statistics every 9.5 minutes someone is infected with HIV! That means that since I began this blog on July 30, 2010 just 2 months ago approximately 10,500 people have become infected during this short period of time!

What is the problem?! It is not that people are not aware of HIV & AIDS. As crazy as it sounds I believe people just don't believe it can or will ever happen to them.  For example, I know a young man who had an uncle who died as a result of having complications  from advanced AIDS. Prior to his death the uncle lived in the home with the young man, his mother and a his sisters. I would think that after having been exposed to the uncle's health issues, that the rest of the family would have been more on guard about their own health. But that is not the case with this family at all! The young man and his now ex-girlfriend has had two unintended pregnancies and his sisters have done the same. I would seriously doubt that either of them knew their partners status before obviously engaging in their unprotected sexual encounters. It's insane.

I'm a very visual person. Imagine for a moment that there is a burning building and you decide to run through that building wearing a pair of gasoline doused pants. This is symbolic to a person going through life practicing high-risk behaviors that put them at risk for contracting HIV, such as unprotected sex or sharing needles for example. Now how many times do you think a person needs to run through that burning building before they make the decision to stop the behavior that's putting their life at risk? Do they keep running until they burst into flames? It's logical in my mind for a person to once they have become aware of the dangers, stop and remove themselves from the dangers, but quite the opposite is happening.


I took a brief survey in one of my classes last week and the question that I asked was, "What would it take to motivate you to take a test for HIV?" Several responded that they would be motivated if they believed they had been exposed! It made me want to scream when I read their responses! There needs to be a paradigm shift in our way of thinking or too many of us will continue to die unnecessarily. Because once you've been exposed to the virus there is no rewind button for your life. You're going to have to play the cards that you so willingly accepted.

Today Was A Good Day!

Today I had to do a speech in my Communications class. It was titled, " Any Old Bag Will Do". And in assembling my speech, I had to put three items inside of a bag that were of significant meaning to me.

My first item was a camafloug cap which represented my past and my time in the Army. The second item was a transformer toy that represents where I am in my life today because I am in the process of reinventing myself. The third item was one of my cocoEskimo awareness t-shirts to signify what it is that I want to do with my life and that's to become a voice in my community that speaks on the issues surrounding the HIV&AIDS epidemic. And I would ultimately like to be a part of whatever it's going to take to eliminate this desease. My bag is blinged out with empowering words about the qualities of women and that's because I believe strongly that the empowerment of women everywhere, regardless of race or social class will allow more opportunities for us to make the needed changes the world over!

I was very proud of my speech today, because I was able to use that opportunity in the classroom setting to deliver an important message about the epidemic to everyone in attendence! Last week I did the same thing in my Writing class..I used the opportunity to tell people about this silent death that's a lot closer to each one of us than we may realize.

I'm going to do my best to make it do...what it do!!!

Please support this cause by purchasing one of these fabulous t-shirts. They are high quality Hanes brand tagless style shirts. Indicate the color and size and also which slogan you prefer when you place your order.

PUMP THE BRAKES my brothas and sistas!!!

I had a thought (yes, another one) just the other day and I've shared it with my dear Sista Wanda already. But what does the term 'universal precautions' mean to you?

Women, image for just a moment walking into the examination room for your annual check up. You're up in those dang stirrups and the doctor comes over to begin your pap, but he is not wearing any latex gloves! What goes through your mind? Think about it.

Men, what goes through your mind at the thought of your doctor not wearing any gloves while probing your body?

Me, I'm like hold up..wait a minute! And I'm not even playing here. Because a couple of years ago I had a so called medical professional put on a pair of gloves in preparation for my exam. And because the equipment was not cooperating, she lead me to another room. Well, she never took off those gloves! And so when we got into the new exam room, she thought that she was good to go. So I said to her, umm, don't you think you should change your gloves? And her response to me (in her defence) was that she had just put them on. So I explained to her that yes, she had put the gloves on in my presence initially, but she had also worn those gloves when she opened the door for us to leave the first room and then she used those same gloves again to open the door to our current location. This is my body and you will not wear those gloves to do anything to me. You need a clean pair.

Now by now, she had a real crazy look on her face but she knew that I was serious. As a matter of fact I thought about reporting her lack of common sense to the hospital, but didn't. Anyway, what I'm trying to get at here is that since latex gloves and masks and other protective wear is there to protect the patient from the doctor and to protect the doctor from the patient. I'm wondering how difficult it will be to incorporate universal precautions into the bedroom. Given the current HIV epidemic, I'm of the opinion that it should become common sense for people to put on some latex before exchanging bodily fluids with each other.

It just makes sense to me and I would be very interested in hearing your thoughts on this.

In AMERICA We Really Ought to be Ashamed

When you take a look at history and at how societal issues were addressed back then, it has the ability to stir up many different emotions..at least it does in me. Especially when it's done with cruely and unfairness to those who were in no way able to protect themselves or their families from the forces that ruled. Take the Holocaust for example where human beings were killed because of who they were, their genetic or cultural origins, or health conditions.

When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn't a Jew.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.  Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892–1984)

So here we are and we're not living under these circumstances THANK GOD!  We currently have a choice and more importnantly we have a voice that is protected in the 1st and 14th Amendments to the Constitution of the United States. But we CHOOSE to be SILENT on the issues surrounding HIV & AIDS in our community!!! It just makes my head want to explode, because although we don't have our babies being stacked into gas chambers we are leaving them vulnerable to being infected when we don't handle our buisness as parents and keep it real with them. Is it going to take seeing and smelling the decomposing bodies of those we love before we come together and take a stand?
 
Right now, yes, there are medications available to a lot of people to treat this illness. But have you ever paused to consider what will happen if one day the supply of medicine ever runs out? We are literally putting our lives on the line because what? we trust that the government has got our backs? Remember Katrina? The examples are endless. Who remembers the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment?  It's quoted as being “the longest nontherapeutic experiment on human beings in medical history.” Where 399 African-American men were sick with this sexually transmitted desease on into its late stages and their doctors had no intention of telling them or treating them?
 
Is AIDS another plot to exterminate African-Americans? I really do not know. But what I do know is that I am not taking any chances that are within my control and I'm not going to not tell my children what they need to know in order to protect their bodies from HIV and also how to protect themselves.
 
That's all for right now. And I must say thank you for reading what I have to say, because sometimes I don't know when to stop and I'm by no means a great writer. But I am a work in progress. So thanks for listening and take care.

My Burdens

There is an old school spiritual song that my grandmother used to sing all the time as she cooked and cleaned and went about taking care of her family, and it spoke of laying ones burdens down. I just Googled it and the name of that song is "When I Lay My Burden Down". And here are the lyrics to that song:

Glory glory, hallelujah,
Since I lay (laid) my burden down.
Glory glory, hallelujah,
Since I lay (laid) my burden down.

All my sickness will be over,
When I lay my burden down.
All my sickness will be over,
When I lay my burden down.

All my troubles will be over,
When I lay my burden down.
All my troubles will be over,
When I lay my burden down.

Lord, I'm feeling so much better,
Since I lay (laid) my burden down.
Lord, I'm feeling so much better,
Since I lay (laid) my burden down.

(The internet is an amazing tool somethimes.) This song best describes how I'm feeling lately when it comes to the fight against HIV & AIDS in my community. I feel better and better each time I share information with somebody because I believe that if what I have to say can't help them, then maybe it will help someone else that they cross paths with somewhere along the way.

Somewhere in my mind I'm believing that I'm going to find a way to connect with masses of people who are willing to not only listen to reason, but apply some behaviors to their own lives that are critical to our survival as a people.

how do you get hiv

How do you get infected with HIV?


HIV enters the body through open cuts, sores or breaks in the skin; through mucous membranes, such as those inside the anus or vagina; or through direct injection. There are several ways by which this can happen:



•Sexual contact with an infected person. Anal or vaginal intercourse without a condom with a partner who is either positive or does not know his or her HIV status account for the vast majority of sexually-transmitted HIV cases in the U.S. and elsewhere. Oral sex is not an efficient route of HIV transmission. Kissing, massage, masturbation and "hand jobs" do not spread HIV.



•Sharing needles, syringes or other injection equipment with someone who is infected.



•Mother-to-child transmission. Babies born to HIV-positive women can be infected with the virus before or during birth, or through breastfeeding after birth.



•Transmission in health care settings. Healthcare professionals have been infected with HIV in the workplace, usually after being stuck with needles or sharp objects containing HIV-infected blood. As for HIV-positive healthcare providers infecting their patients, there have only been six documented cases, all involving the same HIV-positive dentist in the 1980s.



•Transmission via donated blood or blood clotting factors. However, this is now very rare in countries where blood is screened for HIV antibodies, including in the United States.



HIV has been detected in saliva, tears and urine. However, HIV in these fluids is only found in extremely low concentrations. What's more, there hasn't been a single case of HIV transmission through these fluids reported. HIV cannot be transmitted through day-to-day activities such as shaking hands, hugging or casual kissing. You cannot become infected from a toilet seat, drinking fountain, or sharing food or eating utensils with someone who is positive.


You also cannot get HIV from mosquitoes.

What is AIDS?

AIDS (acquired immune deficiency syndrome) is a condition caused by a virus called HIV. This virus attacks the immune system, the body's "security force" that fights off infections. When the immune system breaks down, you lose this protection and can develop many serious, often deadly infections and cancers. These are called "opportunistic infections (OIs)" because they take advantage of the body's weakened defenses. You have heard it said that someone "died of AIDS." This is not entirely accurate, since it is the opportunistic infections that cause death. AIDS is the condition that lets the OIs take hold.


And what is HIV?

HIV is a virus, like the flu or cold. A virus is really nothing but a set of instructions for making new viruses, wrapped up in some fat, protein and sugar. Without living cells, a virus can't do anything—it's like a brain with no body. In order to make more viruses (and to do all of the other nasty things that viruses do), a virus has to infect a cell. HIV mostly infects CD4 cells, also known as T cells, or T-helper cells. These are white blood cells that coordinate the immune system to fight disease, much like the quarterback of a football team. Once inside the cell, HIV starts producing millions of little viruses, which eventually kill the cell and then go out to infect other cells. All of the drugs marketed to treat HIV work by interfering with this process.

Practice What You Preach

Let's Do This...Get Tested For HIV Today!!

Well I went to my local Health Department this morning and had an HIV test done. And I took one of my boys along with me so that he will know what to expect when he's grown enough to handle the issues and responsibilities that come along with having sex with another person. I don't want him to be afraid to go and get tested. Of course I got the "crazy-look" when I explained why I wanted him to witness the proceedure! ANYWAY!!!

I'm really glad I decided to go, because now I can explain to others what to expect when they go the "the clinic" (of course you can go else where to be tested) and it was an educational field trip for one of my kids. In Alabama they do the Ora Quick (Real) mouth swab and it takes 20 minutes to get the results. But here in NC they do a blood draw and it takes 2-3 weeks to get the results.

An hour or two of passion and then  2- 3 weeks to find out if it was deadly or not! Wow!!

So you go in and sign a couple of consent forms and then the blood draw is done. Afterwards a councelor speaks with you and answers any questions that you might have. They ask you a few questions to help determine how high your risks of being or getting infected in the future are and they give you some information and a couple of packs of male condoms. I asked about the female condoms too and was told that they're so much more expensive than the male condoms they hardly ever have them available.:( They make sure that you understand what date your results should be ready and that's all there is to it! Now for the wait...but in the meantime...

They have FREE condoms at the front desk and friendly staff in the back!

While I was making my rounds there weren't but a few people in the HIV/AIDS clinic. But there were several young mothers in the Immunization clinic waiting to get thier babies vaccinated though. There is something backwards going on in our society, but what can we do to change it? Maybe we should do a "Take your youngster to the doctor day" where the focus is specifically on the management of thier own birth control and HIV/AIDS status? Just askin.. Because if the numbers keep rising at the current rate, the day will come when the number of people infected will out number those that are not.

When all our women are infected who is going to have the babies?

People want to act like nobody's having sex. Especially our young girls and young boys. It's as if they are not under any kind of pressure to "do it" or "give it up". But the truth is that they are and they do! And we can't always be there to protect them. I personally believe that our kids are smart enough to avoid risky behaviors that they have been educated about. For example, you tell your kids to stay in the shallow end of the pool when they don't know how to swim, right? Well I sure do! And I'm going to tell them to keep themselves protected from other peoples bodily fluids and know that they understand how to do that.

Think about it...Who taught you how to use a condom?

Just trying to practice what I preach...

“It won’t happen to me.”

WAKE UP! It's a fact that a great number of people who have tested HIV positive, are still sexually active. They often experience feelings of despair, hopelessness, denial and even fatalism. Some plunge into sexual activity with a vengeance. Some turn bitter. This is not to condemn those individuals; who knows how we would act, but many who know they are carriers, are very active sexually. And many overwhelmed with their own distress are not protecting their partners. Some go so far as to hide it from them.

THIS REALLY HAPPENS! You see, this is not hearsay. I worked as a correctional officer in a male facility for several years and it always amazed me to see an inmate living as a gay man amongst his peers, go to a convalescent visit with his wife as if it were nothing. I'm not judging anybody. There is a point that I'm trying to make here. It's about the things we take for granted. And it's a fact that stuff happens sometimes.

GO TOGETHER AND GET TESTED! Cause like my girl Rae Lewis-Thornton said...if it ain't in your pocket, then you don't know where it's been! And that's the truth. Maybe your man shared tattoo needles. Innocent enough, but a potentially deadly decision just the same. So if it's a ride that you feel you just have to take, make sure he's willing to take the test. As a matter of fact go together and get tested. It'll help put his mind at ease about your status too. I'm just sayin.

Keeping It Real

This blog is in no way a substitute for the advice of a qualified health-care provider. Because I am not an expert on the subject of HIV or AIDS, nor do I claim to be.

I am just a woman who has been blessed enough to live through my wreckless and foolish past of getting jiggy with it and not worrying about wrapping anything up. I was one of those women who made love to a person because I wanted them to love me. I know now that that's as backwards as it gets! But back then I didn't know about loving or respecting myself. I had nobody in my life to share that very important life lesson with me. They say God protects babies and fools! And for that I am thankful.

My purpose here on the blog is not to bring embarrassment upon myself or anyone else for that matter. I am merely being willing to share my life in order for someone else to hopefully learn something from it. Because when you're going though troubled times it's too easy to believe that nobody else cares or understands where you're coming from. It feels like it's only happening to you, right? Well that is wrong! Look at the record number of unintended pregnancies (CDC says 49% of all pregnancies are unintended!),  and domestic violence (is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States, more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined). Am I getting through to you yet?!

We have to begin talking about this stuff! And that's all I'm trying to do here is give a safe place to do just that...talk about it.

And given my experiences I am of the opinion that it starts at home, a young person learning to love him or herself enough to make healthy choices for themselves. I believe it's called values. I'm from a family that doesn't talk. I know it has to sound crazy to someone reading this, but it's true. For example, when I was a child and I questioned why something was a certain way I was always told 'because I said so'. And so when I met my husband I thought he would eventually drive me crazy!...because he is from a family of talkers. So it's been a process for us to find a balance that works for the two of us. I've always been quick with the pen and paper whereas he's quicker to want to actually talk through it.

Don't let HIV happen to you or someone you care about!

People come into your life for a reason...I really believe that. Because we can learn so much from each other if we allow it to happen. I'm getting some really good feedback to my inbox on FB. Thanks for believing in what I'm attempting to do here, it means a lot. I'm looking forward to the time when we can all be comfortable enough to post here on my blog page. I understand the reservations and the fear of being tagged or whatever. I really do. I just don't care. I read a post on FB that says if you're talking behind my back then you're in a good position to kiss my butt. So make up a username if you want too! Just stop not talking about these issues that are destroying our families and our community.

Awareness Is Always In Style

I was talking to a friend of mine last night on the way to our Mocha Mom's Nite Out event and she made the comment that she thinks HIV and AIDS have become stale..lost it's flavor so to speak and so nobody is really interested in hearing about the issues anymore. WOW! I had to think about that one for a minute and I against my will, agreed that she had a point.

Because look at how politicians spring up seemingly out of nowhere at us every time there is a new election coming up. They come with a new set of promises, kissing the babies and posing with people that they ordinarily wouldn't give the time of day, right? But they keep politics fresh in their own way giving us something to check out and investigate. They seem to be on every network all day and all night long. And we want to be sure of which one is going to come through for our community because we’re the ones who have to live here.

Well let me help to refresh and energize your mind just a little bit about HIV and AIDS. Because it’s your body! And unless you have a clone you better get it together honey. But if you have it together then keep it together and PLEASE help someone you love to do the same. This infection has been around since the early 1980’s but there is always more to know. In fact, there's so much to learn about HIV/AIDS that it can seem overwhelming.

HIV is the infection that causes AIDS.

HIV has few or no symptoms for up to 10 years or more before symptoms of AIDS develop.

There is no cure for HIV/AIDS, but treatment is available.

HIV can be spread during sex play.

Latex and female condoms offer very good protection against HIV.

Safer Sex reduces the risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD)

Using condoms makes vaginal or anal intercourse safer sex

Using condoms or other barriers makes oral sex safer sex

Having sex play without intercourse can be even safer sex

Safer sex can be very pleasurable and exciting

Have I got your attention yet?

We all need to care about protecting ourselves and the ones we love. For sexually active people that means practicing safer sex. We can use it to reduce our risk of getting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). It lets us protect ourselves — and our partners — while we enjoy sex play with them. Safer sex is for responsible people who care about their and their partners' pleasure and health.

Bt the way, I don’t know about you but I’m not seeing any ads on my TV screen trying to educate me and my kids about AIDS or HIV these days. I’ve said before that we have got to start teaching our children about how important it is to protect their bodies. There is no way around it.

I told my boys that it’s like putting a drop of food coloring into a cup of water. What happens? The water turns from clear to whatever color you dropped into it, right? Ok, now how do you get the color out? You can’t! That’s how I drew a picture for them to see that if you make bad choices and get infected then that’s just the way it is, you’re infected now…period. Your momma and daddy can’t love it away.

I’ll talk more about my views on our children and HIV/AIDS on another day. I just wanted to share that with you this morning. But my kids are awake now and so it’s time for me to cook some breakfast around here! I like to either get up early to write or stay up late because I have less distractions then. So until next time…Peace & Blessing to you and yours.

Hey Yall! What's Shakin?!

Hello and welcome to the Coco Eskimo Blog. My name is Rozita and I'm just one woman, wife and mother who wants to help make a difference with this HIV/AIDS epidemic that we're faced with today. I truely believe that with your help, we can make a difference.

A couple of years ago while living in Birmingham, Alabama I was introduced to an organization called AIDS Alabama. With them I did a lot of volunteer work throughout the community and the people that I had the opportunity to meet and work with were impressive to say the very least. I trained to become a Peer Educator with this organization and was trained also to administer the HIV tests, but I never tested anyone myself  because I really didn't feel like I could handle it if I ever had to tell someone that they had tested positive. Cause you see, while working a health fair event one afternoon I witnessed a young man who had been told the news of having just tested positive and something inside of me felt hurt and broken for him. Because he was only 19 years old! He was still just a baby, I mean I have a son his age! I think about this kid a lot and I remember the tears all over his face and I hope that he's doing alright.

So for the time being I'm going to stick to educating people and helping to prevent someone else from getting infected. Because I prefer tears of joy.

I named my Blog after a very dear friend that I crossed paths with while living in Alabama. Because this cat (I'll call him Drew), was a trip! He was always telling me how much he liked my clothes and that when I got tired of wearing anything to let him have it. lol Well one night when I saw him it was pretty cold outside and he was wearing this big fluffy white jacket. It was sharp! The jacket had white furry trim all around the hood!! And before I knew it I told him that he looked like a damn Chocolate Eskimo! We laughed so hard! So the name stuck and it was his nickname from then on. But since moving a couple of years ago I lost contact with Drew, but I think of him all the time and I'm so glad that he came into my life. I miss my Chocolate Eskimo.

In a couple of months I'm planning to host a small and informal event where some of the ladies will come together and have a discussion about HIV/AIDS in our community. It will be the first of many and the way that I intend to fund these events is to use the proceeds from t-shirt sales and HotChicJewelry.com, which is my homebased business.

Please keep in  mind that this is my first Blog and I will be learning as I go and I am open to suggestions. PLEASE also remember to always be respectful of others here on Coco Eskimo, because this issue is a very emotional one.

Thanks for stopping by and I'm looking forward to doing this blog thang with you!

My Clinic Closes at 11:45 on Fridays!

Okey, so today I rushed over to the clinic to get some information on HIV/AIDS to share with my family and friends. And I get there to find that they are closed! I was like, OMG are you kidding me?! The poor guy at the desk looked at me like I was nuts. But I guess who ever walks in there insisting on seeing someone in the HIV/AIDS clinic, right? It wouldn't have been so bad if there had been some information available in the lobby. But there was ONE brochure and it was on siphillis. Oh Lord! All I could think about was bless the one who gets up the nerve to come in here today. How long will it take for them to get the courage to make another trip because every 9 minutes...someone is infected with the HIV virus..right here in the US of A!!

I'm going back when they open at 8:30 Monday morning and I hope that whoever else missed them today will commit to doing the same.