I went to an open mic event lastnight and it was such a beautiful experience! I believe it's safe to say that I've been inspired to put my words on paper in a way that I have never done before. And I wrote poetry today for the very first time!
Getting started was not so easy for me, but once I got started I found it fun and relaxing and in a sence freeing. Here is just a sample and I hope you enjoy it:
My Sista’s Keeper
If you care about me then you’ll show me
said the boy who wanted to be a man.
Listening to this bullshit she says
yes, I’ll do anything, the girl had no plan.
She’s searching for love in all the wrong places
and because she is so trusting...
Never understanding why all she gets is
a bunch of lies and sexual thrusting.
It is for this reason I vow to be my sista’s keeper
she and I have, well, an understanding
That our faithfulness to each other
can prevent her from making a crash landing.
I am my sista’s keeper
no more STD’s or unintended pregnancy problems
I am her bestfriend
I am her female condoms!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Female Condoms Rock Yall!!
Let me begin by saying that attitude plays a major role in the acceptance of something new and person has to be open to change. I say this because I have never been a fan of condoms. They seem alien to me and I can understand why men balk at the idea of putting one on. Afterall, I hate having mammagrams done because it's just so uncomfortable! Who wants their body parts all squooshed and compressed?! But I have to say that when the choices are between a male condom and a disease, the condom will have its way, no doubt.
So lately I've been sharing with people on my Facebook page information and the idea of using the Female Condom. The only problem I had with my message was that I had never tried it for myself. I believe in teaching from experience so that I can hold a conversation with my audience about the issue at hand. For example, several months back when I started up this blog I went and got tested for HIV although I've been tested before in other states, so that if any questions came up then I could tell about my personal experience with the testing procedures in my current city.
Now that I've tried out a female condom for myself, I think it's importnant to share my experience. I was hoping to find a format or some type of survey that I could just customize. As luck would have it I cannot find any such template so bare with me as I navigate my way through the details of my experience.
For those who have seen my YouTube presenatation:Female Condoms Rock! I followed the same proceedure for setting the condom up for use. After washing my hands I checked the expiration date and kneeded the package for a few seconds to distribute the lubricant. I then tore the package open at the preforated top right corner and removed the condom from its package.
I must tell you that because I have never used anything like a diaphram before I was just a little concerned about inserting the inner ring of the condom. But I got it in place on the very first try and I didn't have any problems with the condom twisting either. It was actually a piece of cake so-to-speak.
Although I demonstrated in my presentation that the larger outter ring will be visible on the outside of the va-gee-gee, seeing is believing. Keeping in mind that everybodys built differently (speaking about the depths of our cavities) when I stood up after inserting my condom I couldn't help but wonder what in the world I would do for 8 hours with 2 inches of the condom sort of dangling down there. I'm just keeping it real with you! Because remember that you can insert the female condom and leave it in place for up to 8 hours before you use it AND the extra material helps to protect more surface area.
Surveys have reported that the outter ring stimulates the clitorous during intercourse. As a result of my experiment, I can now happily tell you that there is truth in that. There were no issues with any pinching of skin or pulling of hair as with male condoms. And although I did notice some noise initially, after applying more lubrication it went away.
Removal of the female condom went just as well as the insertion of it. My report is that it was equally pleasing for both partners. Remember that its material permits it to warm up to the temperature of our va-gee-gees quickly. And overall it felt very natural.
So in conclusion, I am definately won over by the female condom. It is well worth the extra cost and you might be able to get them from the health department for free.
As always, I hope this is helpful.
Peace & Blessings
cocoEskimo
So lately I've been sharing with people on my Facebook page information and the idea of using the Female Condom. The only problem I had with my message was that I had never tried it for myself. I believe in teaching from experience so that I can hold a conversation with my audience about the issue at hand. For example, several months back when I started up this blog I went and got tested for HIV although I've been tested before in other states, so that if any questions came up then I could tell about my personal experience with the testing procedures in my current city.
Now that I've tried out a female condom for myself, I think it's importnant to share my experience. I was hoping to find a format or some type of survey that I could just customize. As luck would have it I cannot find any such template so bare with me as I navigate my way through the details of my experience.
For those who have seen my YouTube presenatation:Female Condoms Rock! I followed the same proceedure for setting the condom up for use. After washing my hands I checked the expiration date and kneeded the package for a few seconds to distribute the lubricant. I then tore the package open at the preforated top right corner and removed the condom from its package.
I must tell you that because I have never used anything like a diaphram before I was just a little concerned about inserting the inner ring of the condom. But I got it in place on the very first try and I didn't have any problems with the condom twisting either. It was actually a piece of cake so-to-speak.
Although I demonstrated in my presentation that the larger outter ring will be visible on the outside of the va-gee-gee, seeing is believing. Keeping in mind that everybodys built differently (speaking about the depths of our cavities) when I stood up after inserting my condom I couldn't help but wonder what in the world I would do for 8 hours with 2 inches of the condom sort of dangling down there. I'm just keeping it real with you! Because remember that you can insert the female condom and leave it in place for up to 8 hours before you use it AND the extra material helps to protect more surface area.
Surveys have reported that the outter ring stimulates the clitorous during intercourse. As a result of my experiment, I can now happily tell you that there is truth in that. There were no issues with any pinching of skin or pulling of hair as with male condoms. And although I did notice some noise initially, after applying more lubrication it went away.
Removal of the female condom went just as well as the insertion of it. My report is that it was equally pleasing for both partners. Remember that its material permits it to warm up to the temperature of our va-gee-gees quickly. And overall it felt very natural.
So in conclusion, I am definately won over by the female condom. It is well worth the extra cost and you might be able to get them from the health department for free.
As always, I hope this is helpful.
Peace & Blessings
cocoEskimo
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Sistas Be Encouraged
How do we persuade our partners that we should use a condom?
It can be difficult at best to talk about using condoms. But you shouldn't let embarrassment become a health risk. The person you are thinking about having sex with may not agree at first when you say that you want to use a condom when you have sex. These are some excuses and some answers that you could try...
EXCUSES & ANSWERS
Don't you trust me?.. Trust isn't the point, people can have infections without realizing it.
Sex doesn’t feel as good with a condom.. I'll feel more relaxed knowing that we’re both protected.
I am afraid to ask him to use a condom. He'll think I don't trust him…If you can't ask him, you don't trust him anyway.
I don't have a condom with me… I do!
It's up to him... it's his decision… No, it's your health too so it should be your decision too!
I'm on the pill, you don't need a condom… I'd like to use it anyway… It will help to protect us both from infections we may not realize we have.
Putting it on interrupts everything… Not if we make it a part of our foreplay!
I guess you don't really love me… I do, but I am not risking my life to prove it to you!
I will pull out in time… Women can get pregnant and get STIs from pre-ejaculate.
But I love you… Then you won't mind helping us to protect ourselves.
Just this once… Once is all it takes!
Female Condoms Rock!!!!!
Now imagine how the script is flipped when women are in control of whether or not we use a female condom. The possibilities are endless! No more begging and hoping he’ll agree to wrap it up. How much stress is involved when it comes down to our being in control of our bodies and reducing our risk of unintended pregnancies and STI’s. Especially since we can insert our condom up to eight hours before we even have sex. Wow!
It can be difficult at best to talk about using condoms. But you shouldn't let embarrassment become a health risk. The person you are thinking about having sex with may not agree at first when you say that you want to use a condom when you have sex. These are some excuses and some answers that you could try...
EXCUSES & ANSWERS
Don't you trust me?.. Trust isn't the point, people can have infections without realizing it.
Sex doesn’t feel as good with a condom.. I'll feel more relaxed knowing that we’re both protected.
I am afraid to ask him to use a condom. He'll think I don't trust him…If you can't ask him, you don't trust him anyway.
I don't have a condom with me… I do!
It's up to him... it's his decision… No, it's your health too so it should be your decision too!
I'm on the pill, you don't need a condom… I'd like to use it anyway… It will help to protect us both from infections we may not realize we have.
Putting it on interrupts everything… Not if we make it a part of our foreplay!
I guess you don't really love me… I do, but I am not risking my life to prove it to you!
I will pull out in time… Women can get pregnant and get STIs from pre-ejaculate.
But I love you… Then you won't mind helping us to protect ourselves.
Just this once… Once is all it takes!
Female Condoms Rock!!!!!
Now imagine how the script is flipped when women are in control of whether or not we use a female condom. The possibilities are endless! No more begging and hoping he’ll agree to wrap it up. How much stress is involved when it comes down to our being in control of our bodies and reducing our risk of unintended pregnancies and STI’s. Especially since we can insert our condom up to eight hours before we even have sex. Wow!
Today Was A Good Day!
After that task was handled I had an even bigger task to handle and that was a 5 minute recorded speech that's due on Tuesday morning! I had intended to complete it before the weekend, I truely did. But here it was Saturday morning and I had nothing but the outline written up. I mean I knew that I wanted to talk about what female condoms are and how to use them but that was about it.
After I got finished shopping around town for a box of female condoms, with zero results because I was unable to find a store that carries them. Grrr! This was so frustrating for me because on the store shelves there were a million-gazillion male condoms in every store, but not one female condom!! I went back home to begin working on my speech. Thankfully I had a couple of female condoms that were given to me at the health department, so I used these to illustrate their use.
I'm still not used to having to speak with applied discipline. At least that's what I call it when I've got to preview and review and do this and that during these speeches. So it took me a few attempts to get a recording that I can live with. It didn't help at all knowing that if I left out a single component that I could get a zero for my grade! No pressure at all right? riiight.;)
In the midst of it all I try to remind myself that this is a process and once I'm finished with it, in the end I'll be a better woman and a better speaker. So let's rock! haha! I'm going to try and upload the finished product here on my blog so if you don't see it then I wasn't able to get it here. (Pull it up on youtube.com under cocoeskimo because I'm not able to upload it here unfortunately, but 1 out of 2 aint so bad!)
In the meantime, take care of you and win, lose or draw I'm going to take care of me too!
Peace & Blessings,
Monday, October 11, 2010
If Not Now...When?
This is a question that I've begun to ask myself lately more and more. I'm wondering when will it happen that the folks in my community will begin to band together and take action against those issues that are most detrimental to our families and our culture. We need to have some real talk about these real issues.
I've recently begun some studying on women's issues. My initial plan was to major in Communications and pick up a minor in Marketing, but right now I really don't know for sure where I'll end up. Partly because I'm finding that a lot of the societal issues that women are facing today, we faced hundreds of years ago as well. Some issues are just more in our faces than others.
For example, women put up with a lot and we sometimes take a lot crap off of our men too simply because we love them so much. The result is that we forgive them sometimes too easily. The terms "wifey" and "baby daddy" have managed to somehow make the state of no commitment alright. And then the media and hollywood move in to brainwash us and glamorize the rest of the world into believing that we have no worth. Afterall, our men are all thugs and as for African-American women we're just a bunch of hoes and booty shaking bitches, right?
Making it real easy for someone to say pack your bag and leave him girlfriend! But when a woman has got children to care for and that man is the sole provider...she's got a whole lot of soul searching going on. She is somehow able to justify in her mind that for the sake of her children, things aren't so bad or that things will get at least better. The death trap lies not in her infinite denial that her man is cheating, but rather in her refusal to protect herself from being exposured to his multiple partners and sexually transmitted diseases.
I read somewhere that when you believe wrong, you think wrong and when you think wrong you act wrong. As a result people believe that HIV & AIDS cannot happen to them, so they think safer sex is not needed in their bedrooms or where ever they are hooking up. Therefor they don't make good choices such as consistant use of condoms or making abstainence a part of their everyday lives.
I surveyed some of my classmates (approximately 18 students) and a large number of them said that it would take believing that they had been exposed to the virus to motivate them to get tested! If that doesn't tell us that something is terribly wrong with how STD's are thought of. How do you protect yourself from HIV after you already have it? Well?
#1 sex is overrated and #2 we seriously need to get a handle on our thoughts and sexual behaviors. If not now...when?
I've recently begun some studying on women's issues. My initial plan was to major in Communications and pick up a minor in Marketing, but right now I really don't know for sure where I'll end up. Partly because I'm finding that a lot of the societal issues that women are facing today, we faced hundreds of years ago as well. Some issues are just more in our faces than others.
For example, women put up with a lot and we sometimes take a lot crap off of our men too simply because we love them so much. The result is that we forgive them sometimes too easily. The terms "wifey" and "baby daddy" have managed to somehow make the state of no commitment alright. And then the media and hollywood move in to brainwash us and glamorize the rest of the world into believing that we have no worth. Afterall, our men are all thugs and as for African-American women we're just a bunch of hoes and booty shaking bitches, right?
Making it real easy for someone to say pack your bag and leave him girlfriend! But when a woman has got children to care for and that man is the sole provider...she's got a whole lot of soul searching going on. She is somehow able to justify in her mind that for the sake of her children, things aren't so bad or that things will get at least better. The death trap lies not in her infinite denial that her man is cheating, but rather in her refusal to protect herself from being exposured to his multiple partners and sexually transmitted diseases.
I read somewhere that when you believe wrong, you think wrong and when you think wrong you act wrong. As a result people believe that HIV & AIDS cannot happen to them, so they think safer sex is not needed in their bedrooms or where ever they are hooking up. Therefor they don't make good choices such as consistant use of condoms or making abstainence a part of their everyday lives.
I surveyed some of my classmates (approximately 18 students) and a large number of them said that it would take believing that they had been exposed to the virus to motivate them to get tested! If that doesn't tell us that something is terribly wrong with how STD's are thought of. How do you protect yourself from HIV after you already have it? Well?
#1 sex is overrated and #2 we seriously need to get a handle on our thoughts and sexual behaviors. If not now...when?
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